Heavy Heart
by Multi-Horizon
Summary: She had seen him die. She thought he was never coming back to her. Traumatized by what reality could have been, Tenten is torn between emotions of relief and fear. Neji is still alive and it seems that Sakura has saved his life. When Neji becomes fond of his savior Tenten is suddenly at odds with her debt to the medic and her feelings for her teammate. [Tenten/Neji/Sakura]
1. come back to me

_Inspiration: Come back to me- Utada_

_"And the rain falls, oh the rain falls, I don't want to be alone. / Boy you're one in a million."_

_Pairing: Neji/Tenten Neji/Sakura_

_Notes: Neji and TenTen are a ship that I, actually have never been a super big supporter of. I mean, I don't dislike them, I quite like them, but I don't really write about them. Ever. But alas I was struck by the inspiration and as such, I must say I wanted to write them. Especially after recent manga events, so here is this. AU TAKE ON PRETTY MAJOR MANGA SPOILERS? Though to be honest, this is an AU take on the Neji-event-that-shall-not-be-named._

_This is a fairly angsty and heavy fic. Read at the risk of heartaches and feels._

_Probably gonna be about a 15 chapter fic._

_Rating: T for now._

_Disclaimer; I'm not Kishi. I don't own nothin._

* * *

Once, only once, she had looked up into thistle colored orbs and thought she saw something more than a sort of delicate sense of companionship. The kind that was built on many long days and nights by each other's side and could as easily be taken away by a terse, damaging skirmish.

It was a tantalizing thing; the friendship of Hyuga Neji.

He was a fortress of personality, locked deep within a maze of cold gray walls that kept out most curious onlookers. There was a vast supply of tenderness, of worthiness, ethics and reliability, even absurdity and humor, deeply buried beneath the reservations of his upbringings.

A victim of circumstance, he was always an incredibly simple yet extremely complex boy who faced innumerable challenges. Heavy expectations upon his shoulders from an early age had a way of constantly abating his natural liveliness.

He was diminished by his name, jaded by his demon keeping.

Yet he was someone that Tenten simply _knew_ was extraordinary.

The moment they had been placed on a team together; the moment they had trained together, shared the same pains and the same fears. The moment that she had been able to look into his eyes and see his goals, his dreams, his determination exposed within those opalescent eyes was the moment she knew that Hyuga Neji was not what he seemed from an outside prospective.

As he grew into a man he grew into himself. Into his own set of ideals, separate from those which were forced upon him as a child. Those ideals were who he _really_ was.

And, oh had she loved him for what he really was.

She had loved his strength. Refined and beautiful, he was elegant, controlled—a strength that defended him, and boxed him into his fate, a fate which he eternally dreamt of overcoming.

She had admired his kindness; though it seemed he lacked affability, he was truly loyal, civil and just. He would flinch away from injustice, and grit his teeth at the thought of someone's hopes being shattered.

She had even grown to accept his lesser agreeable qualities and the ones which grated against her nerves.

It was true there were many things she saw in him.

And just that one night, she could have sworn she had seen something _more_ in him.

There were crickets calling and frogs belting out songs on that cold fall night. Geometric, autumn leaves fell around them, some of the leaves falling to float lightly atop the surface of the small pond to their side. At their side were trees and several yards beyond those trees was their camp. Rock Lee was happily kindling a fire and busying himself with setting up his sleeping roll, with his trademark geniality.

It had been a particularly hard week for team Gai that week.

Tenten had wanted to sooth the tension that came over their whole team earlier that day, specifically the proud Hyuga before her then. She had wanted to unwind the tightness in his shoulders like a key, had curled her fingers into knotted fists before letting the anxious drive to comfort him divulge her own emotions. The sadness that overcame her to see him so discouraged was betraying her.

If he would have turned around at that moment, he would have seen it so clearly in her trembling fingers and in her heavy-lidded, downtrodden eyes. He did not turn around however.

Tenten was left gazing at his shoulder blades, arching ever so slightly to protrude just beneath the fabric of his slightly dirty white shirt. She had the grace of seeing him without his shirt on before that moment, and had committed to memory the grid of muscles and planes that had shined from perspiration that day beneath the rays of the sun. She had trained extra hard that day at his side, as an excuse to remain near his vicinity.

She didn't have words to say to comfort him. The only sounds between them were organic; sounds of the forest, creaking tree trunks swaying in the breeze, the rippling of water as a fish broke the surface, the sound of her the loose pebbles beneath her feet as she barely shuffled closer to him, her heartbeat thrumming within her veins. She could vaguely hear him breathing, inhaling, exhaling, deep and worried.

He took things harder than most people she knew tended to.

It was a side effect of his hard earned, harder taught nature.

She had never considered herself timid or shy, however this wasn't casual, this wasn't normal. Tenten wasn't certain how to approach Hyuga Neji, how to make him understand. They had known each other for too long, she had cared about him so much for so long.

Crossing the boundaries of caring as a friend, or expressing too much unbidden sentiment, might toss their very delicate balance into ruin. It took her years to be able to understand Neji and for him to speak not just his mind—but also his heart—freely before her. Even still there were days when he was lockjaw, vice grip on distance. There were days in which he was much too far and too guarded to accept her assistance.

She was afraid she would disrupt that reward, revoke it.

She wondered would he withdraw from her touch, from her obviously amorous attentiveness.

Even she could not be certain.

It was a stiff absence of communication that spun around them like a net for what felt like hours before she pressed her somewhat calloused hands together, not trusting their freedom, and her lips parted. "Neji…" She breathed his name like reverence of a prophet. "Are you—Do you want to go back to camp now?" She repealed her original choice of words; _are you okay_?

Of course, she knew had she had the nerve to ask them, she would have only been paid in silence anyway.

For a moment he offered her that silence, almost like she had expected, accompanied by the wall of his turned back. She could feel her heart sinking like sand in an hour glass at his words, dwindling away—disintegrating— down that narrow pinhole.

However when her bronze eyes watched him spin to face her— with his long, silky hair hanging over his shoulder, his face smudged with dirt from earlier that morning and his brow set in a low, stern line— she was surprisingly relieved.

Her breath came out in puffs of anticipation and she gave him a weak smile to comfort him.

His expression was stoic, perhaps even with underlying tones of frustration beneath those silvery eyes. She would have reached out for him, to lead him away, but such a motion was beyond her control. She was frozen in place by the way his eyes roamed over her.

It seemed very penetrating, with those eyes that _saw_ everything. Someone who was sharp and keen, wise beyond his years, for as world weary as he was he was also positive. During spikes of conviction, he was unstoppable.

And he was gazing at her with a _look_.

The general passiveness was present, but his eyes were skimming along her features. They reflected the starlight as he peered intently at her own eyes, shifting to view the small translucent freckles that dusted over her cheekbones which were sticky with dried sweat. Shifting upward they languidly traced her hairline, messy and smudged with dirt. He seemed to be content to gaze at her for a moment, to observe her beneath the distinct, navy sky that was visible between gaps in the canopy.

She could feel herself quaking.

It was only a moment then, but she was certain she had sensed it.

_Something_.

Something present in his eyes. She thought that there was something resounding, less than stolid, less than impassive behind that gaze that night before they wordlessly walked together back to the camp.

She was certain that she hadn't romanticized it. It wasn't a figment of her mawkishness, couldn't have been overstated by her fond memory of the night. Hyuga Neji had reflected something _worthy_, something tender in his own inconspicuous way.

That night seemed like such a long time ago, as she reflected on it this moment.

As she watched with widening eyes, blanched white as a ghost, lips parted in shock and instantly overcome with grief, she would come to remember that night. As urgent dread was causing her stomach to flip uncomfortably and a scream she wouldn't recognize as her own ruptured from between her chapped lips, she wondered if he had remembered it too.

Did he cherish it?

Did he remember the way her freckles looked, the exact shade of brown her hair had been; like herself, could he remember where every smudge of dirt had pressed a pattern atop her skin as she did for him?

Did Hyuga Neji treasure that moment the way she had?

Her first instinct was surprisingly, not to fall, to bend or break beneath the anguish and surrender to the pain. Her first instinct was to run to him, to try and eradicate the tragedy from his eyes, and vanish away the pain.

However there were lean, tightly coiled arms around her waist which stopped her from doing so.

And she thrashed like a fish out of water, like an overturned beetle with her eyes peeled and her shirt catching the tears that were falling in torrents. She didn't think to peer behind her to see who had gripped her, she could hear them whispering into her ear.

Locked securely around her midsection, Lee was holding her. She could feel his own tears brushing off against her ear and the base of her neck. He was sobbing, attempting to ease her pain along with his own.

In disbelief, they couldn't possibly have comprehended the pain they would suffer, at the sight of their teammate being cut down before their eyes.

They couldn't even take solace in the fact that he had died in battle at their side. He was feet away, with his back facing their directly. Surely he had to have known they were by his side, even if he couldn't see them, couldn't hear them?

Copper eyes were sparkling through the hazy tears, having trouble focusing as the puddle of blood that surrounded their oldest friend grew in width from beneath his torso, spreading out like a red ink stain across rice paper.

And there was nothing they could do; they both knew it.

Tenten had never felt such a wave of emotions. Such emptiness, such sadness, so many reasons to reminisce and so much remorse and regret.

When the light broke through the clouds, as if to mock the shadows of that moment, it brought with it relief.

Like a hymn, harp strings and heavenly light, she appeared beneath that sharp shard of sunlight; dropped from above, she leapt down from atop Uchiha Sasuke's giant snake summon. Strong lean legs landed and immediately folded, collapsed into a bend at their companions side. Pink hair falling to shade her eyes from their view so far away and her hands instantly began their green healing glow.

Haruno Sakura was nothing short of a vision, of a dream, as she appeared at that moment.

During Tenten's greatest moment of fear uncertainty and sorrow, as her tears were flowing and her heart was constricting, Sakura had brought such respite.

Somehow Lee's hands dropped away from her and they stood in awe, frozen among the blur of motion on the battlefield. As if entirely locked into place by the sight; by the hope that that woman could perform miracle.

When her partner, with his green caked in dirt and perspiration finally brushed past her, running towards Neji, Tenten felt that her own mobility was restricted. Her heart was constricting so tightly, with hope and with fear that she was finding anything more than standing difficult to manage. Suddenly, she was having issues running to him.

She wanted to, oh how she wanted to, but she couldn't run.

Rather she stumbled, slowly, wobbling the whole way like a kite on the wind. Her legs carried her slowly towards the two forms crouched overtop of someone so precious to her it hurt to even be near such a scene.

She stood just behind Lee unable to bring herself any closer than what she had, with her eyelids stretched wide, pupils needle-pointed at the body lying on the ground. Orbs darted back and forth, between his pale, shock frozen features and the backdrop of blood that dyed the white of his fabric deep crimson.

For a moment she allowed her copper eyes to drift upward towards someone everyone knew, her comrade in arms, the blossom haired female currently bent forward over Neji's form.

Sweat traced the shell of her face, slipping down her straight, small nose and down her rounded chin. There was also traces of dirt and blood smeared across her features, much like everyone else, Sakura appeared shambolic.

During a moment—what felt like hours into the process—the medic removed one of her hands to refocus it towards her chest. Those agile, skilled fingers quickly reached up and jerked down the zipper of her slightly tattered jonin vest, revealing the dark Konoha standard shinobi shirt beneath. With the vest unzipped, the strong motion of her chest as she breathed was more noticeable. Ebbing and flowing with the pattern of her intense concentration, it rose and fell in a hard, but steady motion.

From where she stood, Tenten could see the focus, the determination and the exhaustion on Sakura's feminine features. She could also, if she regarded her close enough, see the very slight presence of alarm, fright, apprehension beneath the veil of those bright mint eyes.

The harsh, low line of her scrunched eyebrows were enough of a clue to how grim things seemed to look.

No one spoke.

None of them even seemed to think.

They all simply gazed unendingly at one thing or another; Lee gazed at Sakura's features, watching her work desperately, willing her to continue.

Tenten had refocused on Neji somberly. Her entire body was still shivering, her muscles tense and her lips still parted as if she had forgotten how to close them.

Sakura for her part had barely blinked. Her eyes simply bore into the motionless, still and bloodied form beneath her hands. Petite hands which moved occasionally to different areas of the body as she channeled her chakra here and there.

When the moment came, it was as if the entire earth halted on its axis.

The ground felt as though it were moving, as if she were on a boat. Tenten was gazing at his features, dazed and grave. When she heard Sakura release her first very soft, highly mitigated sigh, Tenten was tempted to release one herself. Immediately the hope spread like morning sunlight.

First a twitch, then an uneasy jerk and finally eyelids peeled open to the timing of a deep, suffering gasp which came from Neji's pallid lips. Tenten could have collapsed at the first sign of life within the form of the person she loved so much.

Sakura looked much less anxious as Tenten cast an appreciative, astonished gaze towards the female comrade. She did not meet those green eyes with her own, however. Those green eyes were far too absorbed in the task at hand; gazing into Neji's eyes.

For the moment, she was appeased, distracted, and so Tenten crouched, feeling her tears rekindled, hot and moist down her cheeks. She finally had the strength of will to bring herself down to his level and she gazed at Neji's face.

He was alive.

Somehow, he had survived. It appeared as if he would survive after all.

"Neji." She breathed his name in veneration; however his eyes didn't turn towards her. His gaze was occupied with his medic. Disoriented lavender orbs were trained to her.

"Neji," Sakura spoke and he gazed at her as if it was the only voice he could hear. "Listen to my voice okay," Sakura had a very gentle, sweet but very affirmative voice. It was something Tenten had always admired and liked about the blossom medic. "You cannot move." She ordered, "I'm not finished healing you—but, you're gonna live." She smiled, as if she were very pleased to present the fact. "You're gonna live, okay." It wasn't a question, it was a statement, a fact.

The world was going to envelop Tenten, emotions persisting blindingly, tears never resting and heart never slowing down.

As she felt happiness, relief beyond explanation, Neji had not looked at her once.

At this time, she could not bring herself to care.

Neji was _alive_.

Her Neji was alive and it was thanks to Sakura.


	2. fragments

_Inspiration: Fragments ; Jaymes Young_

_"You were looking for another way out, try to fix these broken things ."_

_Pairing: Neji/Sakura this chapter almost entirely._

_Notes: This chapter is pretty singular in its focus, much like the last one I suppose. It will insert a bit of a weeks' time skip and will place you in the time frame of the rest of the fic. This is not a war setting fic, it is a post-war setting fic. SO, without further ado, here it is. Hope you enjoy._

_This is a fairly angsty and heavy fic. Read at the risk of heartaches and feels._

_Your feedback is appreciated._

_Also thank you to the lovely Beta sLiCeOfLiFe who is flawless. _

_Rating: T for now._

* * *

The last memories that Hyuga Neji had imprinted in his mind were distressing. They were grief and sorrow inducing.

They were permeating into his essential recuperation time, infecting his recovery with nightmares that were causing him physical and emotional pain. The general presence of inner turmoil that was festering within him like a pot boiling over. The hollows of his eye sockets were aching as if they had been pried at, his eyeballs tender as if they had been bruised and his eyelids felt like lead. No matter how well he had been healed, there was a dull pounding inside the marrow of his bones which was causing him to experience fitful rest.

Abruptly thrust into consciousness, pearl colored orbs were suddenly exposed to a well-lit, white room which was sterile in aroma. The light was invading and overwhelming his vulnerable senses and he hissed at the incursion of it, attempting to lift his arm to block it away.

The motion resulted in a tugging and minor discomfort at the bend of his arm. Squinting through the brightness of the light he hovered his appendage in the air, casting his sensitive eyes towards the source of the soreness. Tape around his elbow held in place a small IV which was no doubt slowly instilling him with compounds that were supposed to make him calm and keep his heartbeat steady.

He abhorred the presence of IV's.

Neji's brow remained scrunched together as he frowned to shield against the light while he glanced around the room. It was rather vacant, especially of any human presence. A simple red arm chair sat at his bedside, unfilled. The windows to the right of the room were open, a warm summer breeze blowing fragrant flowers and light pollen into the room. The curtains fluttered gently and peacefully through the breeze. Outside he could see trees that he would recognize anywhere.

His neck relaxed from his observations and he lowered his head back to his stiff pillow with a soft thud. His eyes refocused on attempting to accommodate themselves to the brightness of the room.

_Konoha_.

He took the time to carefully and casually analyze his current state.

There was still a presence of distress within him, his body still felt rather stiff and uneasy. He lifted the arm that wasn't connected to the medication pouch hanging above him to lay it atop his stomach. Lightly, his digits pressed experimentally against the firm skin there. No adverse effects were felt, no pain as a result, no scarring could be felt under the thin cotton gown he was wearing. It didn't appear that he was still wounded in the slightest.

He quickly deduced that the phantom pain he was feeling was psychological. It was an eerie deduction to make; knowing that he was imagining it. It caused his frown to deepen at he gazed above him at the tiled, textured ceiling.

For an unknown amount of time he simply laid there, listening to the beeping of the monitor that timed his regular, slow paced heart beats. He listened to the sound of the wind outside his window that rustled the curtains and he observed the sound of feet as they walked past the outside of his room.

His thoughts drifted to what had happened to him. It was very indistinct, but he could remember.

He remembered the wound, he remembered the pain and the thought that he would not live to see another day. He remembered hearing the chaos of the battlefield, of lying in his own blood. It was wet and sticky beneath his fingers as it soaked into the ground and mixed with the dirt. There was a gap where he could remember nothing, presumably because he had fallen unconscious.

The next memories that he could recall were the least fuzzy; he could recall the presence of hands hovering over him. He couldn't feel the physical touch of her skin, but he could feel the sensation of her chakra inside of his veins, in his organs, on his skin as they erased his agony. With every moment the pain became more tolerable. Her voice was soft, enchanting, telling him things he had already accepted as impossible the moment he had hit the ground.

He could remember his vision becoming less blurred as he gazed up at her form, outlined by the sunlight over her shoulder, pink hair fluttering on the muted breeze. Her expression was calm and relieved as she gazed into his eyes. He had never appreciated before that moment how fair she was; how appealing her gentle smile was.

He didn't have the time to be physically or sexually attracted to Haruno Sakura at that moment, as he lay in his own blood. However, he did recognize, for the first time in the time they'd known each other, how comforting and congenial she was. For just a moment as she leaned over him, smiling at him as if she were glad to see him alive, sharing her chakra with him, using it to sustain his life force, he acknowledged what it was that Uzumaki Naruto seemed to love so much about that girl.

Her presence was gratifying; she was someone that was easy to connect with.

For Neji it was something he had simply never considered.

He had respected her for her craft, he accepted her capability as a kunoichi, but never before had he thought that she was someone who deserved respect for the simple fact that_ she was who she was_. Whatever it was about her that was so significant; it just showed present in those avocado colored eyes, when one really looked at them.

The sound of the door handle sliding in place at the entrance of the room caused Neji to flinch and withdrawal from his thoughts. Eyes cast towards the sound with keen expectation.

He watched carefully as it gave way to produce the thin form of none other than the object of his deliberations. His lavender eyes cut across the red top that was covered by the white, sanitary lab coat and the stethoscope hanging around her neck. Higher they found an affable grin on rosy lips, before their eyes met.

Her feet carried her directly to his bedside without hesitation and he was struck with a strange sort of nervousness and gratitude towards her.

"Neji-san," She had a soft, amiable tone of voice, "you're awake I see."

At this he offered a stiff nod. "I am."

She seemed to find that answer more than suitable as she approached closer, stopping just at his side, close to his left. She didn't ask permission as she simply leaned her hip on his bed. He wondered if it was policy or professional of her to do so, or if she was taking this case and his health, more personally than she probably should.

He didn't recall seeing any doctors before that day doing such a thing.

Her hip was not in contact with his torso, but he could feel it radiating heat and pure _existence_. He studied her features as her palm came down and she laid it on his head; feeling his temperature by touch.

It remained there, hovering atop his skin as she spoke quietly. "You've been asleep for a week," She began explaining his situation even though he hadn't asked, "your teammates have been in and out at somewhat alarming frequencies, but I sent them home yesterday and told them to stay away and get some rest." She smiled at this sentiment as if she connected with it directly, extracting her hand, "the war is over."

This last part of the sentence struck him penetratingly. Straight to his bones. His eyes scanned her face for signs of exaggeration or possibly to tell if she was leading him on for comforts sake, to make him feel better.

He spotted none inside the depths of those green orbs. "For how long?" He murmured, finding that his throat felt strained and his voice was abrasive, scratchy from being unused.

Her tone was patient and clear. "Only about 4 days now. We're still in recovery. It's a fresh victory and we're still in the process of cleaning up the mess." She offered a smile, "But, we're in the clear."

For a moment silence persisted between them and she left him to his thoughts kindly.

He has slept through the final days of the war.

There was an onslaught of emotions, innumerable questions he wanted to ask.

He turned silvery eyes up towards her and found them so countless, so overpowering that they wouldn't leave past the lump in his throat to exit his lips.

And she seemed patient during this time, for a long time, before she decided to speak again. This time, she rather generously changed the subject away from his struggle, "How are you feeling?"

The topic change was welcome. It was something small, something significant he could focus on that wouldn't override his sensibilities. "Fine," He stated, "stiff."

She nodded, "Right, well you've been asleep for a week." For some reason her tone felt very blithe. "So that's natural."

Her fingers were sitting cradled in her lap and within an instant she was standing again, with those petite hands resting on her hips. "So you ready to do this?"

Neji's eyes scanned her with a mild confusion overcoming his features. Not entirely certain what she was looking for he watched as she stuck her palms in his direction. Gazing at them, her voice was somewhat surprising, "Ready to stand for the first time in a week?"

He hadn't even considered the prospect. He assumed he would have ample time to attempt standing when she'd left. Never had he considered that she would be assisting him.

She seemed to respond directly to his thoughts, "You've been asleep for around 7 days, I'm not going to let you test yourself alone."

Considering denying her the right, he didn't even move an inch. The moments ticked by, signified by the clock on the wall, and as they counted down her hand remained extended to him.

Haruno Sakura sure was a strange woman.

He hadn't known her very well. He knew her as what everyone else had. As a medic, as a kunoichi who had made a name for herself, as the apprentice of the Hokage, as Naruto's teammate and the trader Uchiha's ex-teammate. She had been someone he had never truly considered.

He gazed at her hand for another second before he released a tempered sigh. Attempting to sit up was difficult, more so than he would have liked. His muscles were certainly underused. They quivered under his weight as he pushed himself up into sitting position. While he did so his medic stood at his bedside waiting patiently, her hand never completely dropping away. His body still felt weak, even a hint distressed, however after he'd fully propped himself up, he felt better.

Better than he thought was logical, considering it was only a small inch of progress.

Giving her another uneasy glance he tossed the slightly itchy blanket aside and attempted to extricate himself from the bed. His legs were slow to move, costing more effort than he thought was entirely necessary.

Legs were finally entirely off the edge and he perched himself at the end of the firm hospital stead before peering up at her again. Her hand was hovering inches before his nose and he released a deliberate, deep exhale before lifting his own digits to wrap around her soft skin. Her fingers repaid the strength of his grasp by two times. It was a firm, warm and dry hold.

He noticed that she did not pull him forth and she did not rush him.

Time paused between them as they remained conjoined at the hands. She did not tug him upward to stand; instead she allowed him his own pace, her eyes simply gazing over him casually. He could sense no expectations reflecting within her engaging pupils.

Words would never express how much he appreciated this sentiment.

When he did find the strength and willingness to attempt heaving himself upward for the first time since he had thought his life to be over, he felt the tension in her muscles as she tightened her stance to accommodate and support him. She felt sturdy and surprisingly secure for such a slim woman. When he compared that strength, that solid grasp of hers to the slender digits curled around his wrist or her petite waistline and narrow shoulders, they seemed unmatched.

The breeze from the window blew in around them and the ticking of the clock, along with the beeping of the heart monitor was the only noise around them.

Finally straightening his back and sustaining his weight with his weak knees, his fingers remained clamped tightly hers.

Sakura's smile was present not just in her face but in her eyes. "How does it feel to stand again?" She teased.

Teasing was something he was accustomed to from others; however he couldn't recall being teased by Haruno Sakura before that moment. It took him a moment to process whether he wanted to tease in return or not.

The silence somehow, didn't feel strained at all.

"Fine," He answered again, his second time using that adjective that day.

Again she was undeterred by his slightly unremarkable word choice. "I'm glad," She returned.

When the door opened, it was startling and unpredicted. It caused Neji's muscles to flex in surprise, his eyebrows lowering into a frown instantly. The fingers around his tightened in response and his eyes flickered over to her smooth features before finally shooting towards the door.

Lavender eyes caught the sight of a green jumpsuit, as well as twin buns. Scanning the faces of his teammates, his hand went limp, slipping away from Sakura's grasp.

She allowed the slack and released the encouraging and sturdy hold instantly, without any reluctance or delay. He wasn't sure why but it gave him the urge to glance back at her, which he was powerless to indulge.

By the time his orbs landed on her, he only caught a glimpse of her eyes before she was turning around. He was instead simply offered the plain, smooth width of her slender shoulders as she walked towards the counter in the far side of the room.

He didn't have time to observe her further or question whether they'd just shared an understanding, or some sort of silent union of minds, before Lee was at his side. The excitement in his companion's voice was ascertained over his features. Grinning from ear to ear, Neji was enveloped in a swift embrace. The strength of it nearly caused his unsteady legs to wobble right out from under him, but he managed to maintain his stand.

"You are awake!"

"—And standing." A second voice, feminine which did not belong to Sakura.

His bright eyes shifted to meet copper orbs and an expression over the face of his female colleague's features he hadn't seen in some time; a cross between pleased and uncertain.

He gave her a simple nod in response.

He was cloaked in another hasty hug from the male at his side, which he allowed with a bit of solemnity. He kept away the thought that his companions, this hug from Lee, only a week ago, could have been nonexistent. His life could have been at an end. No longer would he have any sort of chance to interact with these two anymore.

Tenten reached his side, her eyebrows in a neutral position and like usual their relationship was moderated. She paused before entering his space as if she was afraid of his response.

He had never known how to react to that hesitation of hers.

She did however enclose the distant between them for a quick, regulated hug of her own. She was soft and she smelled familiar.

His eyes scanned over her features lightly before shifting towards Lee. He glanced back and forth between them for a moment and a small smile uplifted his lips nonchalantly.

Time seemed to wrap around him warmly.

His eyes again flickered to the one person in the room who was not huddled around him. Sakura remained standing off to the side, allowing them space for their reunions. Her features were composed and she was gazing out the window rather disinterestedly, with a distant expression crossing her normally friendly features.

Whatever it was she was thinking of, he found himself surprisingly curious.


	3. stakes

_Chapter 3_

_Inspiration: Stakes ; Vancouver Sleep Clinic_

_"I never wept over a thousand lives, just to let this go."_

_Pairing: Neji/TenTen Neji/Sakura_

_Notes: This chapter is somewhat longer than I expected and it represents a transitional phase. The next chapter will be juicy, it'll add some drama and the first glimmer of romantic things from neji pov. Stick with me, this story is a slow romantic build, but it isn't like absolutely turtle paced so it'll be moving along romantically soon. Thank you all for your care to review, to follow and to read. I appreciate it. _

_Thank you to sLiCeOfLiFe, my amazing beta who is utterly amazing._

_Rating: T for Tasty~ subject to raise to M._

* * *

Sakura was keeping him over night.

The day dwindled down into late hours until the moon was high in the sky and the sound of crickets replaced the birds' calls outside of his hospital room window.

Hyuga Neji was pacing with his arms folded across his chest and an acute frown converting his pale features. His thoughts were running amuck, erratic yet persistent.

They drifted, spun in torrents around his major concerns; what had happened in the war while he was unconscious, presumably lying in a pool of his own blood? Why did he still feel the adverse pull on his bones and on his muscles as if he were still sick or wounded, when he knew very well that Sakura had healed those injuries? Why did he feel dread and anxiety at the thought of using his Byakugan?

He contemplated the very real possibility that the stress was getting to him, like a storm brewing on the horizon. His thoughts were murky and his nerves were loaded with electrical currents, making him feel jumpy and jittery.

Though he was no longer hooked to the IV, he was being asked to stay in the room overnight. Neji was complying with such a request not because he actually had any interest in remaining there. It was an abundantly more complex reason than that.

It was complicated even to himself, who found that gazing out the window of the room and into the stars, was essentially his only way of passing time. After he had finally gained enough strength that morning to stand without assistance from his team—who had gone home hours ago themselves, confident in his condition enough to leave him alone—he found that the best activity he could do was to simply _stand_ around.

He did indeed plan to occupy time there, consuming his thoughts with questionable content in a hospital, rather than the protected walls of his own home. It was most concerning of him to remain however, entirely because of his _reasons_ for staying. Not, in fact because he felt he needed the extra treatment or so-called resting time.

Neji found it most discerning that he felt compelled to stay for the simple fact that a _nurse_ had informed him of his doctor's wishes. They had informed him that Haruno Sakura explicitly requested that he remain there in Konoha Hospital for yet one more night and he had chosen to follow that request rather irrationally because of the fact that she had not hand delivered the bidding herself. She had sent someone else to convey the news and had not returned to his room since then; nearly 8 hours ago. He had been stricken with curiosity and felt deeply denied by her absence. Had she come face to face with him, he could have spoken with her, possibly even found the time to thank her for the honor of his life.

It was entirely unclear as to why it mattered so much to him and as such he was debating his sanity quietly, while gazing into the darkness of the night.

Perhaps it was because the last expression he had seen on her pale, smooth features was so isolated. Possibly because he had felt something very kindred within her firm, reassuring grip as she had helped him stand; or most unsettling of all, maybe he remembered all too well—despite the fact that there was so much hazy uncertainty over his last memories of the battlefield—how her features had looked so penetrating and the way her clear but soft voice had rang in his ears as she lulled him back to life with her chakra.

There was a distinct peculiarity when it came to his thoughts concerning Haruno Sakura, his surprisingly mysterious kunoichi medic.

Something highly unexpected and inexplicable was stirring within him. Combined with his general uneasiness and curiosity, it left him feeling dissimilar towards himself. As if he had woken up only faintly altered from the person he was before she had resuscitated him on the battlefield.

He wondered if perhaps dying, even briefly, had really altered his thoughts marginally—though it seemed such little details, such minor things that when combined, made his forehead pucker and his thoughts turn slightly foreign—and if that were truly the case, was he better off this way?

Would his shaking hands stop shaking soon? Would the phantom pain ebb that had corroded his bones and bruised his eyelids until he felt strained to focus on anything besides his thoughts? How long would he need to remain overstimulated by everything around him?

How long would this restlessness persist?

In truth, he merely wanted it all to end; to return back to the stoic, flaccid normalcy of his routine, overworked judgments and beliefs.

His pearl orbs cut upward on the wall towards the clock to read the time. The hands ticked quietly onwards, indicating that it was after midnight. The general absence of significant sound around him was comforting, like a cocoon. Only the quiet hums of the night, crickets, softly rustling trees and the sound of the ticking clock nearby to compete with his thoughts.

He spent his time in the echoing tranquility of his hospice room thinking of questions to present to his blossom haired female doctor whenever she returned to consult him.

* * *

A rhythmic tapping of the souls of shoes could be heard tapping from outside of the door.

Neji had memorized the pattern of their schedule. He knew when they changed shifts simply from the sound of their shoes and walking habits; sometimes soft but rapid steps, others seemed tired, one nurse had squeaky tread. He had learned to recognize when someone was approaching his door in passing and when they were planning to enter to check up on him.

He had it all identified and compartmentalized so that he would never again be surprised by the turning of his door knob. He subconsciously wanted to be very aware and prepared whenever Haruno Sakura entered his room again this time.

There was something very stern within his features when it happened this time.

When the morning broke over his room, just barely bright enough to be called morning at all, the sound of footfalls approaching was established within Neji's sharp mind. He recognized the soft padding of their shoes advancing on his door and he stood up from his preciously occupied seat in the red bedside chair.

He had taken it upon himself to remove the hospital gown and had instead returned to wearing a clean, spotless mock of his usual uniform. It was difficult to wear at first. His fingers had hesitated, trembled slightly when he'd taken them in his grasp as he was overtaken with flashbacks; the thought of an identical set to the ones in his hands covered in blood, hole in the back, ripped and dirty as Lee and Tenten cried over him while Haruno Sakura had healed him of his injuries.

He was beginning to remember more, with a greater clarity, as time passed idly by in his temporary room.

He was remembering pain, a pain like he had never come across as a shinobi; the pain of dying. Not the fear, not the thought, but the _act_ of dying.

It was perhaps something of a small miracle that Sakura had been near enough to stop his bleeding, to seal his wounds so that he could recover and the pinprick of viable chakra he had left in his lifeless body could spark back to life. If miracles existed, if someone like _Neji_ believed in them, it had been one that day.

Strangely, Neji felt obligated to inform the girl of this fact. It was the least he could do, somehow.

The sound of the strides that lead to his door paused for a moment outside, faltering for a heartbeat before the quiet jiggle of a hand setting on the loose handle. It was with strained eyes and ears trained on the door that he waited for it to part. The person stood for a moment without entering, presumably gazing at the clipboard, before it swung open in an instant.

His muscles were tense when the beginnings of a person entered, anxiety at the thought that he would face her, his savior.

It was a surprise, not a good one, when the door opened to reveal a nurse. Like unwinding a tight coil, the tension drained in his muscles and his eyebrows sunk into a deep frown.

The nurse was an older woman; he could sense no chakra from her so she must have been a civilian level nurse. Her gray streaked hair was tied loosely up and her features appeared bright and carefree regardless of his glower in her direction. She held in her hands a file of paperwork and her eyes closed in a friendly smile. "Hyuga Neji." She voiced his name and he gazed impassively at her with his thoughts taking on an irritated direction. "Sakura-senpai has approved you for release. She's signed your form and said you're free to go. You're to do nothing too strenuous for a few days however-doctors' orders." She smiled, oblivious to his mood.

Neji stood with a straight back and a negative outlook on the rest of his day.

As she turned to leave, lowering her head to him in a low respectful gesture first, the Hyuga felt words leaving his mouth. They were low and deep. "Haruno Sakura," He breathed her name, "is she present here today?"

Halting, with her eyes casting up to him, the nurse looked mildly surprised. Her response was immediate, if not tentative. "Sakura-senpai is working in a private room today."

"A private room?" He repeated her words.

She offered him a tight but polite nod and clarified. "Yes, a room with restricted access."

In return, he mimicking her nod, his own much more rigid and aloof. "Thank you."

He wondered what sort of hospital patient would be in a restricted room and if that were the reason she hadn't taken the time to return to him. Considering that restricted access meant he would be allowed nowhere near her, Neji could only speculate blindly, which was not a hobby of him. He quickly shoved the task of speaking directly to Sakura into the depths of his thoughts.

His legs were still somewhat stiff as he instantly began his march out of the room, not interested in remaining another moment in the hospital. He felt sour that he'd spent the entire night there in hopes for only a moment with his doctor; a goal that was obviously unattainable.

The walk out of the hospital was short and surprisingly surreal. Most of the nurses waved to him on his way out, or graciously said their goodbyes. Many of them attempted to thank him for his service in the war; a war which he bitterly though that he didn't assist with as greatly as he had wished.

He brushed them all off as courteously as possible while also walking as swiftly as he could manage towards the exit. Stepping outside of the hospital was like stepping into a dream. The sun was high in the early morning but the smell, the sights he met, they were strange.

It smelled tired; the smell of distant damage, even now still dying fires, the sound of rebuilding. The sky was still tinted slightly gray with dust and smoke. His eyes held onto the vision of his precious village; the place he had grown up in, the place he wanted to protect, and he felt a piercing sense of sorrow that the civilians and shinobi alike had to suffer through the war.

After pausing briefly to take in the freedom of Konoha in the midst of rebuilding, Neji turned towards the Hyuga compound, intent upon heading home to get more details of the war. He wanted to know things; he wanted to speak to other members of his family. Most importantly, he wanted to talk to Hinata.

His thoughts drifted towards others he wanted to speak to like Lee, Tenten and Gai of course. Images of speaking to Naruto came next, which sent his thoughts spiraling back towards Sakura with an undeniable vengeance.

Though he had begun walking forward, he tossed a careful look over his shoulders at the hospital in his stead.

He quickly deduced that _whatever_ it was he felt compelled to say to Haruno Sakura could wait. She could easily be found again at the hospital at a later date. It wasn't like he was finding it easy to forget that he needed to say something to her, no matter what that something was.

Somehow, Neji didn't think he would have a hard time remembering the task of seeking her out at a later date.

He was having a hard enough time forgetting about her now, when it seemed irrelevant to think of her any longer as long as she was out of accessible radius. At least, while she was in the room with whatever would require restricted access.

That was mildly concerning the longer he thought of _why_ Sakura was unreachable. What exactly was she doing in that restricted room? Was she treating someone; working on a patient? A restricted security patient directly after a war; Neji grimaced at the cryptic prospect as he came upon the sight of the gray, immaculate walls of the Hyuga compound, his thoughts refocusing on the thought of what he might meet being that gate.

* * *

Digits were clasped together around the long stems of flowers. The decorative plastic tied around them with a bow to hold it in place was crinkling rather loudly between her hands. The fragrance the carried was strong and the pedals were like velvet.

Tenten had searched relentlessly, even gone to Ino for a specialist's eye, for the perfect flowers to acquire.

It was surprisingly more difficult than it perhaps sounded to buy flowers for Hyuga Neji.

They had to be _perfect_.

They couldn't seem romantic, no that would be a mistake. It was his first day out of the hospital; Tenten didn't want to convey romantic feelings towards her teammate at a time like that. Love, desire, intimacy was the wrong message.

Pity, get-well-soon or melancholy was incorrect as well. Most of the flowers she picked up had seemed cheerless, or worse, too dazzling and sweet, as if she were a bridesmaid. She had frowned at the carnations she picked up, snorted at the dozen roses and their cliché nature and when Ino had suggested forget-me-nots Tenten had stuttered in embarrassment at the significance their name suggested.

It was a science apparently, trying not to overwhelm or suggest anything unnecessary to her teammate who was somehow still alive.

As a result she held a rather simple geranium bouquet. Ino had said the meaning was '_true friendship'_. She had been adamant about the flowers not meaning anything too adoring or anything that might make Neji feel uncomfortable.

Tenten left the shop feeling equal parts nervous about and pleased with her decision.

Holding flowers made her feel surprisingly gruff; seeing their pretty, feminine pedals between her calloused hands with the dirty, gnawed down fingernails felt wrong. She still had smudges of grime on her arms and clothes from training with Lee. She felt too ungainly and too virile holding such a delicate thing as flowers with the intent of giving them to a Hyuga of all people.

Not just any Hyuga but Neji, who was someone she knew well enough to know that he would simply gaze at them. She wasn't dense, Tenten _knew_ what would happen.

She could predict the impassiveness of his gaze, could practically envision how he would blankly reach for them in an attempt remain polite because that was the kind of person he was. Rather simply he would thank her before he would probably take the flowers home to sit in a vase, where there they would sit for a week and rot.

Her thoughts made her frown. She knew these things; she could practically see it all happening in real time, because she simply understood Neji. She knew the person he was and she knew how he reacted to things. It was a puzzle that had taken her years to figure out and even for her there were days when Neji was unreadable.

Still, as she glanced down at the flowers as she walked the down the street outside of Yamanaka's Flowershop, headed towards the hospital with a scowl, it seemed that she truly felt the impulse to give them to him. No matter what it seemed he would do with those flowers, she sincerely felt compelled to give them to him.

It felt embarrassingly silly or pointless to do so, however it was the only thing she could seem to do at this point.

She wanted to do so much; to run to him, to hug him and kiss him; to cry and tell him how she felt when she thought she'd lost him. To right wrongs, to apologize for every little thing and to make the gap between them smaller and smaller. There were so many instincts, so many desires filling her that she was nearly paralyzed with combating back all of the impulses.

Impulses which she vigorously ignored in favor of something that may have seemed unnecessary and trivial, but also, much _safer_. She knew he would probably vaguely acknowledge her flowers, possibly wonder why she'd gotten them for him. She could imagine the expression she would receive, could visualize what would follow it, the stoic nothingness he would present her with; however even in the most stoic of his receptions, even in the most vacant of his acceptances, one thing always happened afterwards in her projections.

That something was _nothing_. A safe, familiar, warm _nothing_ in which he didn't act as though she had two heads, in which things remained fine between them. Neji did not scowl at her and turn away from her affections, he did not tell her that he didn't want her touches, wasn't interested in her kisses, had no intention of tolerating her intrusions into his personal life.

When she would give him the flowers that rested in her hands, she knew he would coolly, aloofly accept them and that would be the end of it. She would be able to remain at his side without issues, without discomfort uneasiness, only a mild embarrassment.

So perhaps the flowers were a silly idea; perhaps she would regret it, but she couldn't see any other options besides them.

Her eyes gazed down at the flowers in her hands as she walked, her steps stirring up dirt with their gawkiness and she played out the interaction she would presumably have whenever she saw Neji again in that hospital room, over and over again.

That contemplation occupied her time until she was at the steps of the hospital. Thoughts were jumbled and arduous as walked the halls towards his room. He was on the bottom floor and her feet carried her there on instinct. Many times since he'd been admitted had she visited, though he was only awake the last time.

She recalled the shenanigans that Lee presented and the somewhat dreary, too compromised silence that Neji had offered.

Her teammate had been distracted. He had seemed out of it, which she had accepted as a result of his traumatic experience, his medication, and partly because of his impassive personality by nature. Tenten was excited to see him again, in truth. Especially now; she had strategically chosen not to ask Lee to come, to keep their silly friend out of this particular meeting.

She needed courage and seriousness, and she wanted time alone with him.

When she approached his room, she could see that his door was open. From her view she spotted the pristine, freshly remade bedding, and the windows had been closed—a fact she knew Neji would have remedied, as she knew very well he hated hospitals and found them stuffy, therefore always insisted on leaving them open. Her eyebrows pulled into an uncertain grimace as she came closer; rounding the corner into the small square he had been sleeping in for the last week.

Her right hand fell away as her left hand gripped more firmly at the flowers. The room was bright and above all, very empty as she stepped inside of it.

Her eyes scanned a little desperately, no sign of life in any area.

She took a few quick paces forward, glancing around to make very sure that perhaps she had been mistaken; perhaps Neji had only stepped into the bathroom, or Lee had taken him for a walk. Her shoulders slumped and heart thrummed with insecurity and anxiety.

The plastic of the flowers in her hand rustled as she stood in a trembling concern.

"Neji was released this morning."

The voice behind her was strong, firm, and feminine and it caused her to start. She spun around with her lips parted and her digits clutching the flowers desperately.

Tenten's eyes landed on the clear green orbs of the miracle herself, Haruno Sakura.

Standing with her right hand pressed lightly on the doorframe and her pink arched brows expressing neutrality, the medic blocked her exit suddenly. With a lab coat, stethoscope and a clipboard in her other hand, Sakura was peering openly at the brown haired woman before her.

Their eyes met for a moment in shared contact before Tenten shook herself out of the hesitation and she cleared her throat of the anxiety preciously clogging it. "Sakura," She murmured, "you're here. You said Neji was released?" She frowned slightly.

Her teammate was released, that was a good thing.

However, him leaving the hospital without informing anyone, especially his team, it was discerning.

Sakura nodded, "Yep." She sounded rather nonchalant about it. "He recovered perfectly." She took a few steps into the room, shoving her free hand into her coat pocket. "He shouldn't do any physical labor for a few days but he's fine. I checked him out of here because he looked like he was going a bit stir crazy."

Tenten breathed a sigh of relief and her shoulders relaxed. "Yeah, well, you know most shinobi around here don't like hospitals. I guess Neji is no different."

Absentmindedly she brought the flowers up, her left hand rising to finger the pedals idly.

The medic before her seemed to find it amusing, because her head nodded in their direction. "Were those for Neji? I'm sure you can still—"

"—No, no," Tenten rushed to correct the woman before her simply out of embarrassment. She hadn't expected to see anyone but Neji, hadn't wanted anyone around for the embarrassment of handing over the flowers in her hand. It was already bad enough that she was considering giving them at all. Her eyes tilted down towards the flowers wistfully before lifting up to meet the ones before her, "actually…they're for you," she gave up.

The fact that Neji wasn't there to receive them must have been a sign; a sign that it wasn't meant to be, that it was dumb and girly to want to give the boy you liked flowers.

The pink haired woman before her looked surprised. "For me?"

Tenten nodded, a blush tinting her features. "Yeah," She shrugged, holding them out at arm's length, "to say thank you I guess."

"Thank you for what?"

"Thank you for saving Neji." Tenten answered, her eyes watching carefully, somewhat fixated as Sakura's petite, pretty hands came up to take the flowers. The weight of them transferred and Tenten could only think_, I can always get more flowers_, as if she actually would do such a thing.

Sakura before her seemed stirred and shocked to receive them. She held them close before her. "Don't thank me for that," she countered softly, "It's what I was supposed to do. It's all I could have done." She offered another small smile. "If you really want to thank me then make sure Neji comes back here for a checkup in a week. Boys are so stubborn, make sure you let him know I'll come find him if he doesn't show up. Hiding is pointless."

In that moment, Tenten found her appreciation of Sakura grow and her lips quirked into a smile. "You got it!" She chimed.


End file.
